Tom Mountford was born in Norwich, UK, in January 1982. Of his many dislikes Tom simply cannot bear pretentious pricks who write about themselves in the third-person.
Tom earns his living in the sleazy, dangerous underworld of daytime television advertising. He crafts some of the cheesy commercials that fill the breaks between such TV institutions as Dickinson’s Real Deal and The Jeremy Kyle Show. It’s a peculiar career, but one that keeps him moderately entertained and out of trouble.
He listens to Drum & Bass, watches sci-fi, buys loads of trainers and hoodies, eats plenty of curry, consumes red wine and decent beers, and is a big New York Rangers fan. In his spare time he is learning to speak Russian – just for the hell of it! Tom considers himself an erudite, amusing, and talented writer – others label him woefully deluded.
After stating widely-known facts about himself Tom often runs out of steam and can’t be arsed writing much more in the ‘about me’ sections of his numerous online profiles.